May 27
only chris would throw a pirate disco ninja roller-skater birthday party
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May 27
the year is 2012
sexy has disappeared once again
only one man can bring it back
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May 27
Charles Dujic Had a really fun night celebrating @chriscolfer 22nd birthday, disco roller skating in crazy costumes!! http://yfrog.com/h0l4ajwjIS HE WEARING SHORTS
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May 27
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
- Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
- Witness: "I only have one, you know."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
- Witness: "By death."
- Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
- -----
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
- The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
- Witness: "July 15th."
- Lawyer: "What year?"
- Witness: "Every year."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
- Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
- Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
- Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
- Witness: "Er...his face."
- -----
- Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
- Witness: "I forget."
- Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
- Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
- Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
- Witness: "Forty-five years."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
- Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
- Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
- Witness: "My name is Susan."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What happened then?"
- Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
- Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
- Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
- -----
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- -----
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
- Witness: "Yes sir."
- Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
- Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
- -----
- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
- Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
- Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
- Witness: "I could see his head."
- Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
- Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
- Witness: "The victim lived."
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May 27
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
happy birthday chris colfer
(((don’t take this seriously i am not a serious person and if you do take this seriously i’m going to have to tell you to take a seat just go with what i’m saying)))
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875 plays
May 27
The best asks, ever.
- 1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
- 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
- 3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
- 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
- 5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
- 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
- 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
- 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
- 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
- 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
- 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
- 12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
- 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
- 14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
- 15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
- 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
- 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
- 18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
- 19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
- 20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
- 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
- 22: Which continents have you been on?
- 23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
- 24: Backpacks or satchels?
- 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
- 26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
- 27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
- 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
- 29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
- 30: The latest you've ever slept?
- 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
- 32: Do you pick at scabs?
- 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
- 34: How far can you throw a baseball?
- 35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
- 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
- 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
- 38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
- 39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
- 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
- 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
- 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
- 43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
- 44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
- 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
- 46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
- 47: City or nature person?
- 48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
- 49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
- 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
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May 27
help
how do you get a famous blog to follow you
give them a blowjob
swallow 4 follow
#was gonna tag this as ‘brb choking’ #realized i probably shouldn’t
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